147: When EMDR Isn’t Working: Follow the System [Beneath the Protocol Series]

Stop Being Afraid of the Door: A New Way to Think About EMDR

What happens when you approach a target in EMDR and instead of getting the response you expected, the client floods, dissociates, goes blank, becomes highly cognitive, or simply says, “I don’t know”?

You knock on the door, and “something else” you didn’t plan on seems to happen.

In this episode of the Zero Disturbance Podcast, we’re taking a closer look at one of the biggest fears many EMDR therapists carry: What if I open the door and too much comes rushing out?

But there’s another question worth asking: What if everything that happens when we knock is information?

This episode explores a more flexible approach to EMDR and brain-based therapy —one that pays attention not only to the target we planned to process, but to how the client's system responds in real time.

In this episode, we explore:

• Why EMDR therapists can become caught between the fear of too much access and the fear of not enough access
• Why flooding, blocking, dissociation, sensations, emotions, protective responses, and unexpected memories can all provide clinically meaningful information
• The difference between access and readiness
• Why a client remembering a traumatic event does not automatically mean they are ready to process it
• How readiness can change depending on the portal being accessed—memory, sensation, emotion, image, belief, or protective response
• Why “I don’t know” may be a response to approaching activation rather than an absence of material
• How therapists can remain curious without becoming reckless—and cautious without becoming afraid of the client's internal world
• Why the goal isn't maximum access, but useful access
• How an activation-based lens can complement standard EMDR protocol
• How therapists can begin following the system rather than forcing a predetermined target
• Why the therapist’s own nervous system and relationship to activation matter in the room

One of the central ideas in this episode is simple: Access is not the same as readiness.

A client may be able to describe a traumatic event in incredible detail and still not have enough capacity to approach that material therapeutically. At the same time, they may have little conscious narrative access but still be able to safely approach a sensation, emotion, image, or protective response.

That shift can change the way we understand EMDR, trauma processing, dissociation, nervous system responses, and brain-based therapy.

The question to bring into your next EMDR session

Instead of only asking:

“Do I have access?”

Consider asking:

• What happened when I approached the activation?
• What form is the activation taking?
• Who or what seems to be answering the door?
• Is the client sufficiently present to approach this right now?
• Am I responding to the client's system—or to my own fear about what might happen?
• Am I trying to force a particular portal or target to open?
• What happens if I become curious rather than corrective?
• What is the client's response telling me about their system?

The goal isn't to force the door open.

And it isn't to stand outside the door terrified of what's behind it.

The goal is to knock, notice, listen, and respond.

Want support applying this clinically?

If you're an EMDR therapist, brain-based therapist, Brainspotting clinician, or trauma therapist who wants more flexibility and curiosity in your work, The Consultation Program is where we take these ideas into actual clinical consultation.

Inside consultation, we can explore what happens when the protocol doesn't go according to plan, how to understand activation in real time, and how to work with the client's system without getting trapped by rigid expectations.

We're not throwing the protocol away. We're learning how to understand what's happening underneath it.

Enroll to The Consultation Program and bring your cases, questions, and clinical curiosity with you. https://www.zerodisturbance.com/consultation-2022 

Come learn with us at Zero Disturbance: 

Want to learn more about empowering yourself on your terms? If you appreciated this episode, here's more ways to learn with Kambria! https://www.zerodisturbance.com/workwithkambria

We also offer free resources for clients and therapists! Get access to our free client resource library for the most up-to-date tools and resources for your own journey.  

Therapists, access our favorite free resources for designing high-value offers in The Zero Disturbance Welcome Bundle, https://www.zerodisturbance.com/free-resources 

Note: This content is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional therapy. If you’re experiencing difficulties, please seek guidance from a licensed mental health provider. All stories, examples, and characters shared are fictionalized or composite representations. Any resemblance to actual persons or situations is purely coincidental and intended solely for educational illustration. 

With a Masters in Education from Vanderbilt, Kambria has been creating trainings and teaching adult learners for over 20 years. As the Director of Education and Quality Improvement at Stanford Medical School, she created ease in complex systems, thereby giving medical trainees successful learning experiences. Now, as a dedicated mom, therapist, and EMDR Consultant, Kambria knows what it means to do things efficiently, effectively, and in a learner-centered way. When she isn't podcasting or creating online courses, you can find Kambria playing with her twins on a beach in California.