116: Stop Wasting Time: EMDR vs Talk Therapy [Why Women Go To Therapy Series]
In this powerful and direct episode of Zero Disturbance, Kambria Evans challenges two outdated therapy habits that are keeping women stuck:
- Obsessively trying to understand why someone hurt you
- Believing therapy is about “managing triggers”
If you’ve spent years analyzing a parent, partner, ex, or boss — this episode will feel like permission to redirect your energy.
She breaks down why brain-based therapy approaches like EMDR and Brainspotting are changing the game in trauma treatment — and why the goal is no longer trigger management, but trigger elimination or significant reduction.
This conversation is for women navigating:
- High-conflict divorce
- Narcissistic or emotionally immature relationships
- Trauma triggers
- Attachment wounds
- Negative core beliefs
- Addiction dynamics
- Shame-based identity patterns
Key Takeaways
1️⃣ Stop Trying to Understand “Why”
Trying to understand why someone drinks, cheats, withdraws, or yells is not your healing work.
Your healing work is asking: What part of me is snagged here?
Kambria introduces two powerful metaphors:
- The Cliff Analogy – Stop arguing with a cliff. If someone lacks the capacity to meet you, analyzing the cliff won’t build a bridge.
- The Thorny Branch – Instead of studying the branch, gently unsnag your sweater without unraveling yourself.
Healing isn’t about diagnosing others. It’s about reclaiming your positive beliefs of self.
2️⃣ Managing Triggers Is Outdated
Traditional therapy often teaches clients to count backwards, hold ice, ground with five things in the room, and/or white-knuckle through activation. These tools aren’t wrong — but they’re not the end goal.
Brain-based modalities (like EMDR, Brainspotting, EMDR 2.0, Flash Technique) work by targeting the memory networks that created the trigger in the first place. Instead of managing activation, you can decrease, neutralize it, eliminate it. That’s the difference between coping and healing.
Come learn with us at Zero Disturbance:
Want to learn more about empowering yourself on your terms? If you appreciated this episode, here's more ways to learn with Kambria! https://www.zerodisturbance.com/workwithkambria
We also offer free resources for clients and therapists! Get access to our free client resource library for the most up-to-date tools and resources for your own journey.
Therapists, access our favorite free resources for designing high-value offers in The Zero Disturbance Welcome Bundle,
https://www.zerodisturbance.com/free-resources
Note: This content is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional therapy. If you’re experiencing difficulties, please seek guidance from a licensed mental health provider. All stories, examples, and characters shared are fictionalized or composite representations. Any resemblance to actual persons or situations is purely coincidental and intended solely for educational illustration.
With a Masters in Education from Vanderbilt, Kambria has been creating trainings and teaching adult learners for over 20 years. As the Director of Education and Quality Improvement at Stanford Medical School, she created ease in complex systems, thereby giving medical trainees successful learning experiences. Now, as a dedicated mom, therapist, and EMDR Consultant, Kambria knows what it means to do things efficiently, effectively, and in a learner-centered way. When she isn't podcasting or creating online courses, you can find Kambria playing with her twins on a beach in California.
