110: EMDR Doesn’t Have to Be Intense: Why We’re Getting It Wrong [Why Women Go To Therapy Series]

Many people believe EMDR has to be intense, overwhelming, or focused on reliving trauma — but that belief is limiting access to one of the most powerful therapeutic tools we have. In this episode of the Zero Disturbance Podcast, we unpack why EMDR doesn’t have to start with the “worst memory,” how beginning with lower-intensity targets in phase 4 or even positive targets (also called resource installation development) in phase 2 can be just as effective to get started, and why framing EMDR solely as a trauma modality is scaring clients away.

This conversation reframes EMDR as a way of mapping learning, expanding positive beliefs, and restoring agency, choice, and power — especially for clients with complex or chronic trauma histories. Whether you’re a therapist, a client, or both, this episode offers a gentler, more expansive way to understand what EMDR can actually do.

Key Takeaways:

• EMDR doesn’t require starting with the most intense traumatic memory
  
• “Not being ready for EMDR” is often a clinical myth rooted in limited training
  
• Starting with lower-disturbance or positive targets helps the nervous system generalize healing
  
• Focusing only on traumatic content can remove client agency and increase overwhelm
  
• EMDR is about mapping learning — not reliving trauma
  
• Expanding positive beliefs can neutralize traumatic material without directly targeting it
  
• Giving clients choice, power, and control is itself reparative 

Note: This content is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional therapy. If you’re experiencing difficulties, please seek guidance from a licensed mental health provider. All stories, examples, and characters shared are fictionalized or composite representations. Any resemblance to actual persons or situations is purely coincidental and intended solely for educational illustration.

If you’re a clinician and this episode resonates, I want you to know about a way to go deeper; The Lesson Plan is a simple, practical framework for assessing readiness and integrating EMDR without flooding clients. Learn more about The Lesson Plan and get 30% off for therapists!

Lesson Plan sale link here: https://zerodisturbance.mykajabi.com/offers/zZFZiLaL/checkout

Come learn with us at Zero Disturbance: 

Want to learn more about empowering yourself to experience therapy or coaching on your terms? If you appreciated this episode, you wont want to miss out on The Client Workbook + supporting videos! https://www.zerodisturbance.com/client-workbook 

We also offer free resources for clients and therapists! Get access to our free client resource library for the most up-to-date tools and resources for your own journey.  

Therapists, access our favorite free resources for designing high-value offers in The Zero Disturbance Welcome Bundle, 

https://www.zerodisturbance.com/free-resources  

With a Masters in Education from Vanderbilt, Kambria has been creating trainings and teaching adult learners for over 20 years. As the Director of Education and Quality Improvement at Stanford Medical School, she created ease in complex systems, thereby giving medical trainees successful learning experiences. Now, as a dedicated mom, therapist, and EMDR Consultant, Kambria knows what it means to do things efficiently, effectively, and in a learner-centered way. When she isn't podcasting or creating online courses, you can find Kambria playing with her twins on a beach in California.